This is the question I have asked myself a thousand times during this first year as principal. I have asked it about my interactions with parents, staff, students and even my own family members. Are my expectations in my head? Am I waiting for people to reach impossible heights? Or have I been really clear with my expectations to the point that they have become understood agreements between parties?
When I heard Brene Brown had published a new book, I went straight to Indigo to secure my own pre-sale copy. I was pleasantly surprised to see that the theme of the book was leadership. "Excellent," I said to myself, "I will be able to find one or two things that could apply to my new role." Little did I know, that I would read this book and follow it up with a listen on my daily commute, and then get home and underline and attach stickies to key ideas that I would reflect upon daily as an educational leader. One of the first concepts that resonated with me was, "Clear is Kind. Unclear is Unkind" (Brown, 2018, p. 44). Brown explains that we often feed ourselves and others "half truths" or "B.S" to make us feel better when really what is most helpful and most aligned with growing ourselves as humans is to just be clear. She explains, "Not getting clear with a colleague about your expectations because it feels too hard, yet holding them accountable or blaming them for not delivering is unkind. Talking about people rather than to them is unkind" (p. 48). This hit me hard. I read it last month, and it has stuck with me. I have slowly been getting curious and experimenting with this thought in my daily interactions. Every time I debate in my head about having a "tough conversation" with a staff member, or a parent, or even a student, I dig deeper. Tough conversations make me uncomfortable and I often default to making choices that are referred to by Brown as, "fun, fast and easy" (p. 189) which only result in making you feel better in the short term. Fun, fast and easy are the "popular kids" and they happen quickly for me- often without any conscious thought. There are strengths in wanting to please people in this way: I am optimistic, I want others to be happy, I am a problem fixer, I love positive energy and I try to always put my best face forward for sure. These are all qualities that daily serve my in my leadership role and are valuable parts of any school community. This positive outlook is wonderful, but sometimes people just need to hear it straight. And rather than having 10 conversations that dance around the actual expectation you have of people, I have recognized that having one solid, to the point conversation (that yes, can be awkward and uncomfortable) could also be all that is needed to turn a situation around. This doesn't mean I am good at these conversations, but step one for me has been recognizing when I need to be crystal clear with those that I lead, and doing so even when the response from me is not what they are hoping for. The more I practice this the more I realize that the world does not come crashing down if I draw out a boundary or state my expectations. In fact, I have discovered that leaders are respected for having these conversations because they come from an authentic place. So my challenge this month will be to continue to be clear and reminding myself that being clear is an act of kindness. Tough conversations are hard, and there is a way to address them that is also full of compassion. Kind and compassion can coexist with clear if you design it that way. Try it out! Will you mess it up? Yes. Will you forget sometimes? Yes. Do we always nail it on the first try? No. But if you remain mindful and get more curious with how you respond to people, you start to choose clarity as a practice more often. It gets easier and my hope is, that overall it will become automatic. Reference: Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead: Brave work, tough conversations, whole hearts. New York: Random House.
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Reflecting on my leadership journey this summer has been invaluable in helping me conceptualize what leadership means to me and where I want to focus my time and energy to develop myself as a leader. Enrolling in the Summer School on Leadership Excellence through University of Alberta was a perfect way to prepare for a new leadership role. Through the program I have built my own confidence as a leader and engaged in professional dialogue and research which will serve me well in my upcoming principalship at A.B. Daley School this fall. I was honored to accept this position, and pleased to serve at the same school of which I have been assistant principal for the past four years. I was inspired to become a leader by watching those around me, but often see leadership as a role reserved for the most masterful of teachers rather than having a growth mindset about developing myself as a leader. New leaders need to allow themselves space to be vulnerable and struggle through the process in order to transform themselves into more effective and authentic leaders. In her qualitative research Brené Brown (2010) explores peoples’ perceptions of themselves and the stories of their own lives and highlighted links between being imperfect, connecting with others, letting go of “who you thought you should be” and essentially allowing yourself to be vulnerable in order to build connections and understanding. If connections and building relationships are one of the most desirable traits for strong leaders, then it can also stand to reason that becoming vulnerable in our roles and sharing our own areas of growth can have benefits in our professional lives as well. Through becoming aware of your own leadership identity you can also connect, inspire and motivate other leaders. According to Alberta Education’s (2018) newly revised Leadership Quality Standard (LQS) principals are also committing to developing leadership capacity. Our profession needs to model to students and staff that taking risks and having a growth mindset is a path to authentic learning. By modelling this for staff, but still maintaining high expectations, we create a culture that is open to possibilities and to developing skills rather than seeing areas of growth as weakness. Munro’s (2018) findings on developing leadership identity ran parallel to what Brown was saying in regards to exploring ourselves as a way to understand our leadership potential (personal communication). Munro shared that the only way to show your character was through your actions and narratives and that sharing who you are as a person includes your strengths and weaknesses. In doing so you are able to build connections and trust to create a safe space; all ways to create a positive and supportive school culture. Checking in with ourselves by asking, “How do we show up for the people we need to lead?” can be a powerful self-reflection tool when we find ourselves engaged in tasks or busy with administrative tasks that are not focused directly on developing teachers and student learning. Warm (2010) asserts that leadership is a journey which requires transformation in order to allow the leader to transform others (p. 82). Transformational leadership can be described by him as a “Heroes Journey” which involves three key steps. First, a “call to change” where the leader feels a separation or a pull to make a change, next, “answering of the call” or becoming authentic through the process of facing fears and challenges, and finally, “returning home” where the leader brings knowledge back and links the past experiences to the future and vision (p. 87) By viewing leadership as transformational, leaders are empowered to be authentic and vulnerable and view this as a normal part of the leadership development process. As new leaders, we often spend time questioning our own abilities and can get caught up in our areas of growth rather than focusing on what skills we have that brought us to leadership in the first place. This is a valuable connection for new administrators to make, linking our own identities and strengths and leveraging them when developing leadership capacity within our school community. Leadership roles are diverse and it is impossible to excel at all aspects or know all the answers even for the most experienced administrators. Our focus needs to be on cultivating optimal learning environments and developing our teachers. By embracing our leadership identities as they are in the moment and being open to transformation and embracing our vulnerabilities we are able to become more authentic and effective in our leadership roles and shine for those who are most important. References:
Alberta Education. (2018 February). Leadership Quality Standard. Retrieved from www.albertaed.com Brown, B. (2010, June). The power of vulnerability. Retrieved July 30, 2018, from https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability#t-464747 Warm, R. (2011) Leadership: A journey of transformation. In J.D. Barbour & G. Robinson Hickman (Eds.), Leadership for transformation (pp. 81 – 96). San Francisico, CA: Jossey-Bass. We've survived the first week back after the Christmas Craziness and are slowly getting back into routines, getting into our curriculum and tackling the jobs we put off until after Christmas. This past year has been busy and full of changes for me- maternity leave, new baby, lots of family time, Master's coursework to complete and juggling all the tasks of a working mom, to name a few! As a teacher, I feel like there are three "New Years" in a year: The real one, Summer break and heading back to class in August. These are times where I naturally become more reflective of my practice and become really mindful about my goals and planning for the upcoming months. With a new calendar year upon us, I have felt the need to re-evaluate where I am going and how I plan to get there. Already completing my professional growth plans was step one and continues to drive my year, but now I am looking at making some changes that will help to support these goals, as well as assist me in becoming a happier, more effective, more inspiring (or inspired) leader. The past year has caused me to become more Brave and go beyond my comfort zone in many ways; it often felt like I was sinking, but somehow I managed to keep my head above water and adapt. I have realized through this that I am really trying to find my balance as a mother, wife, teacher and leader so that I can better serve those around me, but also to maintain my own sanity! So I am forging ahead at work and challenging myself to also become a Braver Leader. For me, Brave Leadership is going to look like proposing new ideas, focusing on instructional leadership and feeling more confident to have those "Tough Conversations" with staff, parents and sometimes students, even if it means that it feels uncomfortable or is unpopular. It also looks like setting boundaries for myself at work and home and being brave in enforcing them. "No" is something I will need to learn to feel more comfortable with, but also empowering others to be advocates for their own ideas and supporting them to be brave in offering up ideas and organizing initiatives. Clearly, Brave leadership for me is going to include some faking it till I make it! But I think in the end by stepping back slightly and risking not always having a "yes" answer for everyone, I can challenge others to step up and become braver leaders too! One of the resources I plan to check out to support my growth is Brene Brown's website Brave Leaders Inc. as well as her latest work Braving the Wilderness. Looking forward to hearing how you Challenge Yourself to Be Brave in Education! |
AuthorJolene Becker, Wife, Mother, Educator, Principal. My views are my own. Archives
November 2018
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